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I worked with contributing Editor at the Harvard Business Review, Amy Gallo, on a case study on handling a personal crisis at work. Amy wrote this fantastic article featuring various experts as well as the two in-depth case studies. Whether you are dealing with an unexpected divorce, the\u00a0grief of early widowhood, an illness in the family, the article gives expert advice on how to cope at work.<\/p>\n
At some point, we all confront a stressful life event or personal crisis that threatens to distract us from work. Perhaps it\u2019s tending to a sick family member, coping with your own illness, or dealing with a divorce. These are all incredibly tough situations to navigate personally \u2014 let alone professionally. Should you disclose what\u2019s happening to your manager and colleagues? How do you ask for what you need, such as flexible hours or a reduced workload? And how do you know if you should take a leave of absence?<\/p>\n
What the Experts Say Decide what you need Consider how important privacy is to you It\u2019s better to share if you feel OK doing so Set boundaries Ask for specific help Approach your boss Do what\u2019s right for you Principles to Remember<\/strong><\/p>\n Do:<\/strong><\/p>\n Don\u2019t:<\/strong><\/p>\n Case Study #1: Reassure coworkers and maintain boundaries At the time, she was managing a team of six policy analysts\u00a0in the Canadian government. The immediate response from her boss and coworkers was caring. \u201cThey were very supportive during my time of grief,\u201d she recalls. Although everyone had been expecting her back from maternity leave, they assured her that she could take off additional time\u00a0should she need it, and she took them up on the offer, staying out 10 months.<\/p>\n But the situation was still challenging when she returned. \u201cI could see that my story had really affected my colleagues,\u201d she explains. On her first day back, \u201cthere was an outpouring of emotions; some cried openly in the office,\u201d she recalls. And \u201cmany had questions about how the kids were coping, my support system at home, and how I was doing in the aftermath of such a sudden, unexpected death.\u201d<\/p>\n Her response was intentionally measured. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to totally shut down the conversation, but in order to limit unnecessary chatter and maintain my own composure as a leader, I told colleagues that if they wanted to come talk they should feel free to do so in private. This way I could gauge how much a particular employee was affected and also manage my response,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n She also made it clear that there were some things she wouldn\u2019t talk about. These boundaries helped make sure these conversations didn\u2019t intensify her grief. If employees needed additional help, she referred them to the Employee Assistance Program.<\/p>\n Looking back, Keisha is proud of how she handled herself during this time: \u201cI became known as a strong and resilient leader.\u201d<\/p>\n To continue reading the article click here: https:\/\/hbr.org\/2017\/11\/what-to-do-when-a-personal-crisis-is-hurting-your-professional-life<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I worked with contributing Editor at the Harvard Business Review, Amy Gallo, on a case study on handling a personal crisis at work. Amy wrote this fantastic article featuring various experts as well as the two in-depth case studies. Whether you are dealing with an unexpected divorce, the\u00a0grief of early widowhood, an illness in the…<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>\u201cThis is life, and these things happen to everybody,\u201d says Anne Kreamer, author of\u00a0It\u2019s Always Personal<\/em><\/a>. But knowing you\u2019re in good company is not necessarily a comfort, especially if you\u2019re struggling to stay on top of your responsibilities at home and work. If you\u2019ve reached the point where you say to yourself, \u201cI can\u2019t get my job done,\u201d it may be time to ask for help, says Jane Dutton, a professor at the University of Michigan\u2019s Ross School of Business and coauthor of Awakening Compassion at Work<\/em><\/a>. Here\u2019s some advice on how to navigate work when you\u2019re having a personal crisis.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>First, take stock of the resources you have at hand \u201cboth inside and outside the organization\u201d to help you through this crisis, Dutton says. Are there friends or family who might be able to pitch in? Do you have team members who might be able to cover some of your responsibilities in the short term? What you need may not be huge. \u201cIt might be as simple as leaving work early on Fridays for a month,\u201d Dutton says. The key is to figure out what will help ease the pressure.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>Before you ask for help, however, consider how much you\u2019re comfortable sharing. \u201cThis has to be an individual choice,\u201d Kreamer says. \u201cThere are many different reasons why people choose to maintain their privacy,\u201d especially about illnesses that carry a stigma. Uncertainty about your standing in the organization is another reason to be afraid, she adds. Dutton agrees, noting that, in some cases, \u201cit can be dangerous to disclose your situation.\u201d She suggests assessing the risks with questions like:\u00a0What kind of culture am I in? Are there formal procedures for handling this? Do I need to go to HR? Or are there people in my unit who can be helpful? Are they going to treat me humanely? Or do I need to think about how to protect myself?<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>If you do feel\u00a0that it\u2019s safe to share, it\u2019s often better to do so. \u201cWe\u2019ve been encouraged to keep the boundaries between private and professional distinct, but that\u2019s not always helpful,\u201d Kreamer says. In fact, research<\/a> by Ashley Hardin, a professor at Washington University\u2019s Olin Business School, shows that when you allow coworkers to discover more about your personal life, they are more motivated to meet your needs. \u201cIf the situation is interfering with your ability to complete your job, it\u2019s likely that your coworkers may already realize something is amiss, and in that case you are better off letting them in on what is going on,\u201d Hardin explains. You can also give permission to your close colleagues to share your circumstances with other coworkers if it is too difficult for you to tell them directly. \u201cThis type of indirect disclosure can open up a space for your teammates to brainstorm ways to help you,\u201d Hardin adds.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>This doesn\u2019t mean you need to sit down with everyone and explain your situation in agonizing detail. Set boundaries for yourself and for others. You can turn to close colleagues for the more personal conversations, but keep in mind that \u201cmost people don\u2019t want to know every detail of your parent\u2019s chemotherapy. They want to know the pertinent information and how it\u2019s going to affect them,\u201d Kreamer says. Also, it can be tough to answer lots of questions and rehash the details of a sad situation, so don\u2019t be afraid to redirect the conversation back to work if a coworker continually inquires about the details. You might say: \u201cRight now, it helps my sanity to stay focused on work. Is it OK with you if we talk about the project instead?\u201d<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>\u201cIdeally, when you share the news, your colleagues will say: \u2018I\u2019m going to do\u00a0such-and-such\u00a0for you. Are you cool with that?\u2019\u201d Kreamer says. But if your coworkers aren\u2019t forthcoming about offering help, ask for it explicitly. And be thoughtful about how you frame your request. Research<\/a> by Wayne Baker, a professor at\u00a0the Ross School of Business, shows that how you frame your appeal strongly influences whether someone will agree to it. He recommends making the request specific and describing why the help is meaningful to you: We \u201coften assume that the importance of a request is obvious, but it rarely is.\u201d And as with any request you make at work, give a deadline. So you might say, \u201cI\u2019d love your help over the next two weeks while I\u2019m out caring for my mother. Would you be able to complete the report we\u2019ve been working on? It would free up my mind to focus on what I need to do at home.\u201d<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>It\u2019s also a good idea to loop your boss into what\u2019s happening, assuming you feel comfortable doing so. If you have a very close relationship, tell them first and brainstorm ideas for reducing or covering your workload. But, in most cases, Kreamer says, it\u2019s best to talk to your manager when you already \u201chave some notion of how you intend to handle the problem.\u201d Run a tentative plan by your manager, outlining the time period you expect to be absent or working less, the colleagues who might step up for you, and whether you\u2019ve already discussed that possibility with them. Then ask for your boss\u2019s input.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>There is no right answer\u00a0when handling a crisis situation. Some people might find comfort in coming in to work every day. Kreamer did that when she was dealing with three family deaths\u00a0\u2014 her parents and a grandmother \u2014 within six months. \u201cI was overwhelmed by the tsunami of death, and work was very much a solace for me,\u201d she says. \u201cWork is often an antidote, a space where you can forget about what\u2019s happening and operate as a functioning adult rather than feeling helpless in the face of these events.\u201d For others, it might be better to take an official leave of absence. \u201cWhen you believe that you won\u2019t be able to function at the caliber that your job requires of you, it may be better to remove yourself from that situation for a time to recharge your batteries,\u201d Kreamer says. \u201cWhen you push forward and don\u2019t allow yourself to feel the grief, you don\u2019t recover as quickly.\u201d Facebook is leading the way in offering generous bereavement leave<\/a>, in the wake of COO Sheryl Sandberg\u2019s losing her husband, but not all companies offer paid leave, so there are financial and career implications to consider. Still, even a short leave \u2014 just a few weeks \u2014 might be enough time.<\/p>\nRead: How To Overcome Tragedy and Loss<\/a><\/strong><\/h4>\n
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\n<\/strong>When Keisha Blair, cofounder of career resource platform Aspire-Canada, was 31, her husband passed away suddenly from a rare disease\u00a0\u2014 eight weeks after she\u2019d given birth to their second child.<\/p>\n